chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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