Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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