maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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