How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
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Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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