my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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