just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
