hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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