Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
