my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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