Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
