I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
