Your dad touched me again.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
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Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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