i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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