Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
