wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
