We won't sleep together?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
