It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
