Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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