Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
