he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
