Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
