Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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