I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
