I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
