I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
