Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
