If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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