So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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