Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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