apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
