I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
soo... how was my night?
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