Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
