fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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