someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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