I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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