My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
