If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
