WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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