your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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