I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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