So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
