Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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