you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
