just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
