The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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