Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
