Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
