i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
