oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
