i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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