Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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