if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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