I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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