Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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