sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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